Checkup : bleedy feeties

random nonsense title : check.

Just wanted to mention Fritz Leiber. Just stumbled across the guy (reading a graphic novel by Mike Mignola and others, which adapts some of his strange fantasy). Thought YOU might enjoy TOO:

Today was interesting. woke from a weird dream. All inspired to work on Jedi 6 effects (recreating Devil’s Tower in a cheap’n’cheesy landscape program. basically inspired to do everything except decide on the gun that will be the focus of the neededs shots).

Also stayed up a bit last night writing out narrations for the Poor In Portland documentary. Like, trying to think of what to say (and how to edit) during the start of the film. which was a refreshing reminder that the project isn’t all that impossible.

I think i was enormously inspired by a simple email from friend-jonason, who mentioned resuming work on one his videos. i’m tempted to confront all my friends with the apparent fact that i thrive on artistic competition, and if they could all just work on shit- i would be a thousand times further inspired to work on my own. to out do them. in a friendly way.

i needs it. the competition angle. me thinks.

anywhoooo. need to return some library books. buy some groceries. prepare some sort of VitHumor for tomorrow. night already seem sorta shot. erf

checkup: hoo ha

nothing much new really. Feels like I’ve placed my whole life on hold for over a month, while pining for a paying job with friends. Should be resolved soon. i hope. good lord.

Daniel Waters, the writer of Heathers (and helper on scripts of hudson hawk, Demolition Man, and Batman Returns), recommends the work of PAddy Chayefsky and Billy Wilder. I just mention as a note to self, so i can throw away a scrap of paper. He also recommends “The Second Sex” by Simon de Beauvoir, to anyone hoping to write women characters. Continue reading “checkup: hoo ha”


accomplished: nada.

spent wednes(yester)day in Albany with Parents. Mensa lunch was overfilling and quaint. watched some king lear and some presidential debate, and then went and saw Ridley Scott’s Body of Lies. I don’t have the heart to attempt a proper review of it. it seemed a muddled mess of irrelevence. not clearly liberal or conservative, but annoying to both. (ie, there was some fairy tale aspects, like certain activities being too naughty for the CIA to acknowledge, or the hardened agent having to go back for the women he barely knew but had apparently fallen in love with. meh. and then there was the fairly brainless incompetent fat-old-white-guy, who only defended his lame actions once, briefly, by claiming he had to constantly risk incompetence due to a global perspective. poor writing, methinks. these were all very liberal pleasing forms of propaganda. Continue reading “Checkup”

What did i accomplish today?

I’m slowly settling into the mindset that i didn’t land my recent dream job, despite being weird, cold, and manic during the interview. go figure. Sooo, today was the first day in a few weeks where i sat down and tried to work an 8 hour shift (for Solid Fuel)(I’ve been farting around quitting cigarettes and praying for this job, to the tune of not really keeping any normal hours). Continue reading “What did i accomplish today?”

Just another blog

I’m lightly frustrated by the lack of tangible vidHero-specific progress lately. Although there has been a lot of thinking, the doing has been distracted. I’d like to blame the lack of any important progress on the quitting of nicotine. but this feels like a cop out (because i’m nervous that as soon as I have any real stress, i’ll just head right back to the comforting arms of addiction land) (and because it seems like the chemical addiction must be dying down, so my continued practice of doing-nothing must be more psychological). Continue reading “Just another blog”

Shoggoths in the deep

I’ve switched around between reading 4 different books today. “How to cheat in Adobe Flash CS3” (praised on amazon as a great honest resource of animation and design tricks), “Learning ActionScript 3.0″ (looked straight forward to me so i bought it to balance out the first book, also purchased earlier tonight at Borders), Penny Arcade 3: The Warsun Prophecies” (rented from the library, a fun collection of old strips and commentaries from 2002. it astonishes me how much MORE i appreciate Penny Arcade – the DEEPER i dig into it. those boys were damned talented even 6 years ago), and HP Lovecraft’s At The Mountains of Madness (also rented from the library. I’ve already read the story several times, but I was eager to read this editions lengthy intro and 70 page extra feature: HP’s essay, “Supernatural Horror in Literature”).

This last book is what disturbed me forth into writing this brief blog. The introduction by China Mieville deeply disturbed me. China beats around the bush a bit, heaps on the praise, and annoys with a variety of excessively obscure words (it seems everyone does this when surrounding some HPL text. but only HPL manages to avoid annoying. HPL seems to be taking the english language very seriously, whil everyone else is just showing off or imitating).

China ends with a focus on what must have been the real purpose. a huge slam on HPL for his racism and elitism. China points out that the whole book (SPOILERS! …?) is about: elitist fears of the uneducated masses. HPL supposedly converteded to socialism as the great depresssion set in, having given up on the Capitalist experiment. But HPL hoped for some small oligarchy of the intelligent and well bred to take control, and thus avoid any messy revolutions. because revolutions generally destroyed culture. and HPL was deathly afraid of the lesser people that surrounded him. thus the cyclopean cities found in the ice are directly symbolic of themes in some social politics HPL was reading/promoting. cities that out grew themselves, sucked everything out of the surround nature (literally a giant black city in a white void). The protagonists see the heights of this civiliation in the art/carvings, but quickly see this art becoming a self parody. and eventually an embarassment. and the Shoggoth slave class that revolted (and are now, quite revolting in appearance), are still in the skummy depths beneath the city. plus, the “tekeli-li” and giant albino penguins are supposedly direct references to an earlier story by Poe.

this intro blew my mind.

it serves to destroy any chance i’ll ever have of respecting HPL as a person (which makes it hard for me to champion his works. he endorsed hitler for chrissakes), and also serves to explain how his well written but seemingly-silly horror story is actually a careful deep social commentary, mixed with subtle literary references to his heroes that might put tarantino to shame, mixed with a subtle psychological symbolism (drilling beneath the surface, to face the monsters within) that he may or may not have even been aware of it.

it lightly boggles my mind.

So i’m playing the “political history” commentary on the 13 Days DVD (also rented from the library, as i’ve been obsessing about the history/politics of the 60’s this week), and trying to relax.

I can’t seem to get my head around all the nuances of “context” surrounding the society of 1959-79, so i won’t claim to understand the context of HPL’s social times. and thus i won’t seek to judge HPL’s apparent psychological/character problems. And i’ll sit here wondering how well i even understand the context of modern day society. hmmf. (depressing).

uh, the short story: I quit cigarettes a little over two weeks ago, and still haven’t gotten back on track. I’m spending a ton of time on everything BUT relevant work.